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Facebook for Babies? Please, No.

I can’t believe I’m saying so, but thank God for false advertising. I just shuddered to read that a new U.K-based startup called Babylolly.com — a low-tech site that bills itself as “part online babybook, part social network for babies” —  has emerged. Thankfully, the concept behind the company is far more pedestrian than it would have you believe.

What the bootstrapped site does: invites doting parents to capture every precious moment at the site by storing and organizing their child’s photos and videos, alongside which they can also comment on the baby’s experiences and developments. It’s really kind of like a personal blog whose URL you might only give to the grandparents,  though the company is counting on parents thinking Babylolly is somehow easier to manage.

Babylolly isn’t the first site to market itself as a social network for babies. We also have Totspot and a smattering of other sites that essentially offer online scrapbooking services.

But let’s hope it’s the last to wrongly assume that parents want social networks for their newborns and toddlers. I have a toddler myself, and  the idea of unsuspecting babies, growing their networks (care of mom and dad), sharing photos of themselves at the beach to their baby “friends,” and inviting their “connections” to baby parties is only slightly more depressing to me than the endless status updates that crazy (in love!) parents would be sure to post — and that their children would someday greatly resent.

“I brushed my own hair today!” “I slept for TWO WHOLE HOURS this afternoon!” “I pooped in the bathtub last night! Oops!”

Please, startups, don’t go there.